And here we go, into the last two hands worth of weeks left in 2018. Hard to believe that there’s so little left in the year when it feels like there’s still so much left to do…
This past weekend I performed a solo at the Alumni Dance Collective showcase, a small show that is put on by a group that I’ve sort of been involved with over the last four years. It’s one of those things that makes me cringe a little bit when I think about how long it’s been since it’s started because like a lot of things, I remember that I joined when I first moved back from New York. Sometimes that doesn’t seem like a long time ago, but in reality it’s been four years. Four years! It’s been almost 1500 days and yet I still think about what it would have been like if I hadn’t moved back to California. Or, if I hadn’t been so quick to give up even when I had moved back. I honestly don’t know how much longer it will take for me to stop wondering and stop regretting the past, but as long as I keep moving forward I think it’ll be okay.
If contemporary is a tiny bit out of my comfort zone (I feel most at home in a ballet class), performing a contemporary solo is way outside of my comfort zone. But I’m glad I did it and I’m grateful that I had friends who came and watched, even though it made me even more nervous knowing that they had to buy a ticket just to watch me. I don’t like advertising myself, which I guess also sort of relates to my reluctance in sharing any sort of resume or portfolio I may have made. (Although there’s also the separate issue in that I’m lazy and also don’t like creating a portfolio. So maybe I should start with fixing that problem first.) I’m nervously waiting for the video to come out so I can watch myself and see how I did.
Anyways, thankful this week for dance and still wanting to dance even when the opportunities are few. And for stepping outside my comfort zone!!