Junie is 5 months old today! Sigh, I wish that I wasn't so baby-sleep obsessed, because it makes me think that this past month was the worst month so far when in reality things got more fun and interesting with her. But all I can think about from these last weeks is just how bad her sleep got and how every time it looks like things are going to get better, things get worse again. Those nights were things get slightly better are frustrating because if the next night is bad, it feels like we took one step forward and five steps back. I want to want to sleep train, but emotionally I don't think I can handle it.
Jeremiah and I went to a (slightly) younger friend's birthday party this last weekend, and a lot of the young women there were asking me about pregnancy and giving birth... it was interesting because so many of their questions were about the physical aspect of it and being worried about the pregnancy and the pain and their body changing irreparably. Which are totally valid concerns! But as I was talking to them I realized that I would do all that physical stuff again, no problem, but it's really the emotional trauma that makes me think I don't want to have another kid again. And this is coming from me, who has had plenty of my own body image issues in the past.
Anyways, it's really hard to stay positive right now, but I will try and remember the fun things.
- Junie's first big laughs
- Junie rolling over more consistently
- Junie getting very big and healthy
I totally understand why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture!!! And also I have a stye in my right eye which is also no fun!!!