Passport

Being in Taiwan almost seems like a dream to me – this always happens when I travel. When I travel, everything (mostly everything) is new and refreshing and exciting, but after a week or two of returning home the comfort and stability of home settle in and the adventures of travel seem like they happened a long, long time ago.

I haven’t uploaded any of my photos from this past trip onto my computer, because I am too lazy to do so. I guess writing this post should have been motivation so I could attach some pictures, but alas, my camera is upstairs and I am downstairs so photos will wait for a different time. I’m too lazy to even write, most days. I haven’t written in my written journal in weeks, probably because I don’t know what I would write. I would probably just scribble circles and loops and waste pen ink. I feel like a broken record with the same old troubles and the same old conflicts and it seems pointless to write it down over and over again – I want a job. I wish my future looked different. I wonder where my next steps will take me. No new revelations, no words from God, nothing inspiring.

When I went to Shanghai during my trip, I had a moment of fear and panic when I was at the airport, without wifi or a way to contact my friend, and having to fill out the immigration document without really knowing where I was staying and having no address to put down. I was worried that I would have to be sent to some sort of office in order to wait it out and wouldn’t be let into the country, and then I wouldn’t even be let back into Taiwan because I didn’t know my grandpa’s address either. HAHA. Lesson learned – write down addresses, don’t rely on usable wifi, and keep documents with you in your carry on.

But I scribbled some address and street down that I managed to find in my email, held my breath and watched as the immigration officer glanced quickly over my papers and stamped my passport – and I did it, I successfully traveled to Shanghai by myself and I had a new stamp in my passport! It was a great moment. In that moment I had a desire to add more stamps to my passport, to travel – not just inside the US because there is no need for a passport – but across countries, across the world – broadening my horizons and seeing everything and doesn’t that just sound like a great adventure?

But then I came home, I settled back into the humdrum life of the suburbs, and my friend (well, not really my friend. A friend of my brother’s, because she’s more his age, and her mom is my mom’s friend, and I guess we’re all just family friends.) came over who is legitly a world traveler. She quit her job earlier this year, a well-paying tech job, and decided to travel. She went to Brazil and Europe, and immersed herself in the culture and language and learned capoeira. She goes to Burning Man and learns how to survive on her own out in the wilderness (from what it sounds like Burning Man actually isn’t THAT crazy and is probably a really good experience but nah, that is not for me.)

And as exciting and adventurous as it sounded… it didn’t sound that appealing any more. I guess I do not possess this thing called “wanderlust” and I am doomed to be a boring person for the rest of my life.

(In other news, I kept on wanting to write this blog post entitled “Passport” for the longest time and every time I thought of it I just thought of the Beyoncé song where she says “Surfboard” over and over again. So as you reread this post, say “passport” to yourself in the way that Beyoncé says “surfboard”.)