The only thing that stuck out to me this month as a “favorite” is the car phone holder that Sam gave me on Tuesday. I’ve only had it for two days and I think it’s one of the best things that’s happened to me this year so far. It is a true game changer.
May’s cheesy inspirational planner quote was “Bloom where you are planted.” (April’s was “Don’t forget to be awesome”, which I guess I accomplished by spending 50% of my month away from home, and making people jealous with my travels, because is it worth it to be awesome if no one notices? No. [Just kidding.]) Near the end of the month imposter syndrome became a very real thing for me and I had a few nights where I felt very discouraged about the state of my career path. It’s not even a career yet, it’s still just a path! A path where I know I need to be more thick-skinned and put myself out there, and be willing to face rejection. Which I guess is the same for anything that I might want to pursue. Thinking about it while writing this short paragraph has made me feel bad all over again so I think I’ll just stop here.
I am looking forward to June and July, like always, because I love the summer. It always passes by too quickly but there’s just that feeling in the air of relaxation and taking things slow. My goals for the summer are to get back to reading more, cook more, and work on my portfolio and a demo reel! Wish me luck. It’s very possible that I will fall into a routine of putting around, alternating between half heartedly cleaning the house while spending too much time online and being a bum at home, and wandering around downtown at a constant risk of impulse shopping. Welcome to my Walnut Creek suburban queen life! I mean, it doesn’t sound that bad. The other day, I was whining to my dance teacher about just wanting to dance every day and she said, “do you need to get a real job?” (This was following a conversation about possibly taking on more responsibility at the dance studio.) And I thought, you know what, sometimes it’s really nice to not have a real job. But on the other hand, I want to be a productive member of society. So. Self-discipline and self-motivation this summer!
As a side note, I was thinking about my last cooking post and wanted to add that just earlier in this month I was questioning my own use of cultural appropriation during our Cinco de Mayo party. Instead of “bloom where you are planted” for the month of May the quote of the month should have been, “Is throwing a Cinco de Mayo party racist?!”