At the beginning of 2020, Jeremiah and I flew off to Asia for the second part of our honeymoon and family reunion. I decided I was going to take a two week blog break during vacation and was all prepared to write a big two week summation post (okay, maybe not so prepared, but that was the general idea) and get ready to start the new year with the fifth year of Photo Weeks. It’s been four years! I could have gotten another college degree during that time! But the week we returned, I interviewed at a dream job, found out I got rejected, and lost all motivation for blogging because everything seemed pretty hopeless.
So that two week break stretched into a one month break, and when February rolled around I realized it felt nice not having to post every single week and come up with some sort of explanation about what I was doing with my days. I took even less photos during February and the one month break turned into two months.
But now it has been 60 days of 2020 (okay, 61 – I definitely planned to finish and post this on Sunday but I got distracted and did not) and I feel ready to blog again. Making myself take photos throughout the week is a good way to make sure I take an active part in my own life – documenting and appreciating what is going on. And a lot has gone on! I traveled. I went to a wedding, and also a memorial service. I started exercising more. Jeremiah and I started budgeting. I read many books. I interviewed and got rejected and also interviewed and didn’t get rejected. (Currently, I am sitting at my desk job at my former school lab, reliving the days I worked at the computer center at Haas during undergrad years. At least this time fixing jammed printers isn’t 85% of what I do.)
I wish I could say that I wholly appreciated life these last 60 days since I didn’t feel obligated to blog about it, which is the reason most vloggers give when they take YouTube breaks, but really, I just felt anxious most of the time. I was unhappy and wanted change in my life but I am so bad with dealing with change and dread change when it happens. And being stuck in that contradiction really, really sucks. But! It’s good to have a thick skin and to know that even if change sucks, there are good people around me who will help me through it. And it’s probably good to not hold on to things too tightly, anyways.
So – I’m back, and I will probably get back to blogging weekly because I like schedules, and I am hopeful for brighter and better days ahead. I turn 29 this year, which is so close to 30 which means I will finally be out of these crazy tumultuous twenties! Thank God for that. And thank you to whoever still reads this, and let us all now journey into 2020 together!